My Name is Jess’ blog

Hello everyone, My name is Jessica and I'm new to Vox and to the group.
I love to write short stories and poems, so I thought the writing prompts might
be a really great exercise. I hope to "hone" my skills a little

To be honest, I have never really "blogged" anywhere but on my networking
site. So I'm really looking forward to getting some feedback on my musings..lol.

I also really enjoy hearing what other people have to say. And I love to read.
So please, share your postings with me whenever you can.

I am sure I will love reading your blogs. If you have a second, please feel free to drop me a line.
I'd be happy to add you to my neighborhood!

Looking forward to getting to know you all

Jess

Until

A poem for my Only One.

 

At times, I stand in awe of it;

This yearning in my soul

For years; I lived a half life;

Now suddenly, I’m whole.

 

All the grey and dreary days

And trials I’ve struggled through

Seem now to me, worth every pain;

Because.., Because of you.

 

Oh, to have prose that could express

This ecstasy of heart!

How eloquent such prose would be,

Could simple words, impart.

 

How beautiful a symphony

I’d write upon the air

Its strains would touch the

Stratosphere; and ever linger there.

 

How glorious my garden;

(If I had the inclination),

I’d blanket all the earth in bloom;

And *grow* my declaration.

 

For you my Only One, Just you;

I’d cross the deserts wide

Or sail through any tempest,

For a moment at your side.

 

I’d scale the highest mountain top;

Or cross the great abyss

Or conquer any army,

Just to taste of your sweet kiss.

 

Such mediocre rhyme, I know;

But every stanza true.

My wish but to convey

That I’d do anything,

For You.

 

The winter had been oh, so cold

I feared, it might not pass.

Until…Until you stole my heart,

And summoned spring, at last.

(For Nana).

Sienna hues on lofty boughs

The air grows still, as eve draws nigh.

Above an emerald canopy

The sun retires, whilst shadows rise.

 

A lady stands beneath these trees,

Her eyes, black as the onyx stone

The angel by the evergreens,

Aware that she is not alone.

 

He watches from his sacred place

Desires, quickening within.

Longing for her sweet embrace

As darkness falls, devouring them.

 
He sees her hair sway in the breeze

That silent, blows and then subsides

For stars alight these restless souls

Where endless, ageless dreams abide.

 
“My Love”, she beckons,

“Come to me”.

In tones that only he can hear.

She does not turn to meet his gaze,

But knows it’s he.., that’s waiting there.

Though neither speak, nor make a sound

A symphony of words refrain

And lo’, beneath the waning moon

The veil dissolves away again.

 

At once, a maid with raven locks

Is lost within her lovers kiss

For on this night, two hearts beat strong

And laughter rings, melodious.

 

Joining hands, they stroll along,

And stop to dance on moonlit knolls.

While nightingales spill out their tunes,

And summers air drifts thick, with rose.

 

And so, they stay.. And pass the hours,

Romancing in their requiem

Delighting in the moments won

Until…., the mists return for him.

 

They share again, one last embrace….

As distant bells ring long and low

And dew, now soft upon the earth

Is glistening in the amber glow.

 

And soon, cloaked in the light of dawn

One poignant figure stands alone.

With silver hair and weathered hands

Which rest upon her true love’s stone.

 

Unsteady now and bent with age,

That widow by her warrior’s grave

Turns toward the path that leads her home

While larks chirp out a lonesome song.

 

But as she walks, she whispers

Grateful prayers into a cloudless sky.

For soon she’ll be with him, always…

Where dreams, like love….

Can never die.

 

Copy write

6/19/2007 Jessica Jackson

If you could change your name, what would you change it to?

  Archibald Bearasoel. What? I'd get a kick out of seeing if anybody "got it".

Hello, everyone. I'm new to Vox and I like to write. I am here, because I'd greatly appreciate some feedback on some of the short stories and poems I've written over the yrs. I write for the sheer joy of writing. But I imagine I'm very green and being new to blogging, I don't know much in the way of protocol. In the real, I'm pretty shy..So I don't share my writing with many people aside from family and close friends. I feel a little bit like I'm throwing myself to the wolves but in theory, I'd also like to know where I can improve. One of these days if I get around to it, I'd like to publish some poems and stories. I think this group is going to be a really good source of information for me. I look forward to getting to know some of you.

Anyway, thanks again.

Jess

You wake up one morning and find that somewhere along the path from then to now, you've gotten older. You still look like you, but you're much fluffier...( I prefer the term Anatomically Enhanced, personally). Maybe you've got the beginnings of a few smile lines. And perhaps gravity has started to work on the yabbo's.

You've been working two jobs, you're tired all the time; and that cute little baby you had in your twenties?
Well, she's a teenager now. And a hard one to handle, at that.

You've been single since the 'nice man' you met at church went and got himself arrested just shy of your wedding day. Guess its true what they say...You never can judge a book by its cover.

Like most single 30-somethings, you've experienced the usual succession of bad dates .You've had your share of luncheons with emotionally unavailable co-dependents. You're tired of getting all dressed up (and wasting good perfume) on cheap, boring dinners at Burger King. Usually with some shy IT guy who still lives in his parents basement.

The last time you really fell 'hard' for a guy, he promised you the moon. But he ran screaming for the hills as soon as you mentioned the word "relationship". Oh yeah. And when you called him out on his indecisiveness and childish behavior? Suddenly you found yourself sporting *psycho bitch* right smack dab in the middle of your forehead.
Ain't it funny how that works....

Will you ever learn?

Messed you up pretty bad. For a while, even..But eventually you found your bearings and got over it. You still get lonesome from time to time, but looking back on all you've been through lately? Its fair to say that it was probably a wise idea to throw in the towel. You're good and ready for a much needed vacation.

You've spent months convincing yourself that you're much better off alone, anyway. Because romance only exists in novels and on the Lifetime Television Network. In the real world, it would appear that that there's just no such thing.

So you  became accustomed to not wearing makeup. To sleeping whole weekends away. And its sort of nice that nobody's around  to see you hanging out in your granny undies and ratty old t-shirts. You've decided that your cats are the only real company worth having They were never easily impressed and could care less what you wear anyway, just as long as you keep feeding them.

You've been lingering in and out of this pittyful 'half existence' for a long time. A robot of sorts, programmed to be "on" when you're at work, and "off" when you're not.  You have absolutely no social life outside of your immediate family, but you try to tell yourself that you like it like that.

So, here you are. On yet another boring weekend, minding your own business and trying to keep your head above water. You're tired of grinding through the daily grind and eating Top Ramen for dinner, but its a lot better than having your heart broken. You figure, "this isn't so bad..I can do this for a while"..., When all of a sudden, out of the great blue yonder, the Mother Goddess herself decides to throw you a great big ole' girlie curve ball.

Observing from her celestial throne  (and very likely sick of watching you eat your weight in cheese puffs), She decides to intervene. And quickly, before you need a GPS to navigate yourself in the shower.

In her usual 'motherly' way, The Goddess sends a muse down to visit inspiration upon you. You don't see said muse. (This is because you've eaten yourself into a food coma and you're passed out cold on the couch) but you sense a presence...Or maybe its just gas...You aren't really sure.

The muse works her magick by implanting an idea chip into your brain. And no, it has absolutely nothing to do with Chester Cheetah. This is a small, simple idea. However, it does propel you to action.

So, you wake up (still delirious from all the monosodium glutamate), you stumble over to your computer.., and something prompts you to check out the activity in your singles group. Something you haven't done for a long while. . You belong to one of those internet singles groups, and have been a lurking member for a year.

You never planned to actually post anything, but you suddenly find yourself asking "did I ever get around to putting a picture on my profile" ?  You see that you have not, and so you add one. Being as shy as you are, you still don't post anything. Instead, you continue to lurk for weeks...Until one sunny winter Sunday, when you log into your account and find that while you were sleeping, someone wonderful posted an introduction.

That's right, folks. Right there on your seemingly inactive singles list, is a brand-spankin' New Guy. 

New Guy is devilishly witty. He has more than half a brain and writes rather eloquently. He can spell; (No, seriously)! Even really cool words, like "ostentatious" and "anachronism"...And he listens to classic Rock n' Roll. He's BRUTALLY honest, flirtatious and his warped sense of humor is almost as twisted as yours is...
Maybe even more so. Eventually, you muster enough courage to talk to New Guy, one on one.

To your great surprise, New Guy turns out to be really, REALLY cool. A lot like you, but also very different and in some very complimentary ways. As time goes on, you find that you're talking to him an awful lot. Even off list.
You like talking to New Guy because you have an uncanny amount of interests in common. You have similar belief systems. You both care about the same stuff. Things that are insignificant to everyone else, but VERY important to the both of you.  This is both refreshing and exciting.

You're a terrible flirt, but New Guy graciously overlooks your serious social handicap. He even gives you some pointers on how to flirt tastefully without sounding ridiculous. He does this in a gentle way. In fact he's so skillful, that you don't even realize you're being instructed.

What's even better, New Guy is turning out to be a very dear friend. He lives several states away, but that's alright. It's nice to have a friend after so much solitude. New Guy makes you feel good about yourself. And in secret, you hope you do the same for him.

The two of you continue talking online for several months until eventually, you both decide its safe to start talking on the phone, too. 

As your friendship continues to develop, many more months pass. And you learn more and more about New Guy every day. You begin to realize that new guy isn't like the other guys in your singles group. Not hardly. New Guy is a rare and precious gem.

New Guy has spent too many years in a loveless marriage and isn't afraid to say so. He knows his spouse has been unfaithful, but even after having been separated for a few years, he still hasn't been able to prove her infidelity. He's been feeling a bit defeated and sick of being used, but he's also an honorable man.

Though its hard for you to understand sometimes, he still feels an obligation to his family even though his child is an adult and his ex has done a lot of crummy things to him over the years. New Guy is generous to a fault. As marvelously kind as he is sweet and silly.

And yes, though he's had his share of hurt, he is still hopeful and optimistic about finding that special someone. You like this about him. Eventually, your friendship with New Guy develops into something more. Something new.  Maybe something you never thought possible in the real world.

After talking for a good long while, you finally get around to making plans to meet New Guy in person. Unfortunately though, as the day gets closer and closer, you find that you're having panic attacks.You also find that lately, you've started doing some really stupid things. Like losing your car keys and then finding them three days later in the freezer. Or calling your daughter by your cats name, and vice versa. Your tummy is feeling funny, too. Like its all full of humming birds.

Most days you're so nervous about meeting New Guy, that you seriously consider calling the entire thing off. This is because somewhere, deep down in the rational part of your brain ( the compartment that's been hurt), you're having your share of nagging doubts. Besides. Your mother knows about your impending trip and is driving you crazy with the "20 questions" routine.

On the night before you're supposed to head out on the adventure of a lifetime and meet New Guy, something awful happens. You have a truly horrible anxiety attack. The worse one yet. This includes severe chest pains, dizziness, nausea, the works. For a minute there, you just don't think you'll be able to make the six hour journey to New Guys' neck of the woods.

But just as you're about to give up...Call New Guy, make up some lame excuse and blow him off for good, a still small voice whispers in your ear and says, "No, daughter. This is a gift. I really want you to have it...And I want you to have it now...Because if you don't stop eating cheese puffs, your ass is going to devour Rhode Island.".
(Sometimes, Goddesses can be a little harsh).

You take a cat nap and try some breathing exercises. Miraculously, they seem to work. So you finish packing your bags. You grab your medieval garb....You drive all night, drink a ton of coffee, listen to a lot of ELO. You stop to pee about a hundred and fifty times. New Guy anxiously calls your cell phone. About every fifteen minutes. You're both nervous, but you can't wait to see one another. And even though just about every other eighteen wheeler on the highway seems to be wanting to squish you in your little cirrus, suddenly you don't feel so terrified anymore.

The night seems to fly by, in spite of all the hard tissue paper and subsequent chaffing.

Before you know it, you've pulled off the highway into New Guy territory. Its 9:00am the next morning and a weird vision of Chris Angel saying, "are you ready?" Pops into your head. Where did all the time go...Just exactly how many states did you piss in, anyway? And ouch....Did you remember to bring talcum powder? 

You're exhausted. You're a sweat ball. But you're there. And with that realization, the nervousness comes flooding back in. Looks like there's no turning back this time, woman...You also understand that you've just spent an entire paycheck on gas...And so, you do the only thing you CAN do...You call New Guy to tell him you've arrived.

At this point, New Guy is still at work and very apologetically informs you that he'll need to stop at home before he can meet you. He also tells you that he's very happy to know you are here. You smile, knowing how much New Guy really wants to be with you..But you also smile because you know this buys you a little more time. Time to try to make yourself a little more presentable.

Your palms are sweaty, your hair is a mess, but you've found some lipstick you like way down in the dark recesses of your purse.... And your mascara hasn't run halfway down your face. This is great.!!!! You're pretty sure the Mother Goddess had something to do with it.

When New Guy finally pulls into the parking lot you find that you've got to pry your own fingers off of your steering wheel. You are shaking like a leaf and all the saliva has mysteriously evaporated from your mouth. Your lips are sticking to your teeth and it hurts to smile. But you know you have to try. You start wishing really hard that you'd brought some Chap Stick.

New Guy is  just as cute as you knew he'd be. This makes you blush. You get out of the car, hoping that New Guy won't run away screaming. And when he doesn't, you hardly believe it. Instead of running, New Guy, who is wearing a black hat and sunglasses, smiles at you. He he has a nice smile. New guy greets you with a warm hug and tells you that you look hot. As in sexy hot..He waggles his eyebrows at you...Odd as it sounds, New Guy seems to know that you needed to hear this in order to feel less sweaty. (New Guy really is a very smart man).

It isn't long before you notice that he's nervous and shaking, too. Somehow it makes you feel better to know that New Guy is just as scared as you are.  You  have chosen a restaurant as your meeting place. You decide to go on in and eat lunch together. Even though you're actually mature adults, you soon find yourselves hovered over a plate of fries, giggling like two kids on a  first date.  After a long, romantic lunch, you share your first real kiss with New Guy in the parking lot and there are fireworks.

You suddenly feel as if you're the only two people in the universe. And that you have melted into a puddle of  warm goo. You've never kissed a better kisser than New Guy. Feeling much more at ease (and a little dizzy from that wicked pucker), You do what you came to do....Still not really sure if any of it is real, or if the cheese puffs have induced some glorious hallucination, you drop your car at a friend of New Guy's house in the mountains..And you run off to be with him.

You have planned to spend a week at a camping event with a rather unusual theme.... Don't worry fellow bloggers. New Guy was checked out before hand and is indeed a caring, gentle man without a criminal record.

As the first day with New Guy draws to a close, you find that your nervousness has strangely dissipated, replacing itself with a soothing calm and this wonderful sense of belonging that you have never experienced with a new guy before. Its as if you've always known one another and it isn't long before you find that you're having the time of your life. You'll still get to hang out with your friends, < because they arrived at the very same event a few hours before you> but you also get to meet a ton of New Guys friends. They tell you that New Guy is wonderful. And your keen sense of intuition tells you that they are being very sincere. This, coupled with what you take away from your very close observation of New Guy and his peers, indicate that these friends seem to feel they can really depend on New Guy. And you begin to understand that New Guy is trustworthy and reliable. A good thing. A few of New Guy's friends even pull you aside to tell you that they haven't seen New Guy this happy in many years. And that makes you happier  than you have been in a long while, too.

Your week with New Guy floats by like a dream. A very happy, very wonderful dream that you hope you will never wake up from. But all dreams come to an end eventually. And this one does, too. So, you very reluctantly get yourself all packed up and ready to leave New Guy. Tomorrow, you will head back home. This makes you both very sad and so you cry. It isn't every day that you meet your twin flame.

Tomorrow comes, as do painful goodbyes and a very long, very weepy ride home. And you want so much to turn back. You feel this way because almost as soon as you left New Guy,  you realized that you'd made a horrible mistake. You know you double checked your bags.. You were careful to pack up all of your things. It wasn't a "thing" that you left behind..But you did leave something. Something very important.  You left your heart in that faraway place with New Guy...And you're feeling inexplicably lost without it.  Still, you have obligations. Work to do, bills to pay...And you know that even though it sucks, you must continue on your way back home.

Safe at home again many hours later, you call New Guy to let him know that you're ok...You talk for a while; reassuring one another that this is not goodbye forever and that its only going to be a little while until you are together again. But its hard for your brain to wrap itself around that idea. So, you do what you always do when you're depressed. You put on a ratty t-shirt and some granny undies. You eat cheese puffs and chocolate and fall into a food coma on the couch. Poor, poor pitiful you.

Good thing that the Mother Goddess is always watching. She sees you, looking all punch-drunk and bummed out in your crappy clothes. She rolls her eyes and shakes her head a little, but thankfully she is as usual, wise and merciful. It isn't long before she sends another muse your way. This muse is far more insistent than the previous muse. She hangs out at your place for a while...Weeks even, while flying very swiftly back and forth between you, and New Guy. And thus begins the sometimes frustrating, but rather important work of muses. Who have the daunting task of making sure that things  always go according to the Mother Goddess's plan.

And then, it happens. One fine morning, several weeks and several muse visits later, you find yourself in New Guy territory once more. Only this time, you're there to stay. The Mother Goddess sure knows how to work a magick muse. And it seems, she's pretty good at finding car dollies, too. And so today, you wake up to find New Guy is asleep on the couch. And you? You are you're sitting here at your keyboard typing away. Unfortunately, wonderful New Guy is not feeling so hot. You hope this has nothing to do with the meatloaf you made him for dinner last night.

You are trying really hard to type softly because you wouldn't want to wake him up. He looks so peaceful and handsome asleep on that couch. You can't help but kiss his forehead as you walk over and gingerly cover him with a blanket.

The teenager who drives you nuts  has come to stay with you and the New Guy..You're happy about this, because you love her, too. She is at work. And though it all seems surreal at times, its pretty wonderful. You have something you've always wanted, but never dared ask for..You have the very beginnings of a real family...Your own family.

Teenager seems very happy here with you and New Guy.. She likes New Guy and he seems to like her, too. This in and of itself is a small, but welcome miracle. Sure, you're house is a mess. You're sick of filling out job applications and taking boring typing tests, but you've had some really good interviews lately. Thanks to New Guy, who called you one morning on his way to work after hearing about a local job fair.

And yes, there's still lots of work to be done in the new place, but these days you're feeling up for a challenge. You're very alert and alive. You're not fading in and out of half existence anymore and though you hardly believe that its true, you feel that you've stepped into an amazing new life. Thanks to the Mother Goddess and her muses. And of course, thanks to the love and support of New Guy; who is everything you could have wished for and infinitely more.

And you know? It's weird.
Lately, you don't have much of a taste for cheese puffs.
Lately, you find yourself thinking, "isn't it wonderful, what a little magick can do?".

Lately you've come to believe that romance isn't just for novels and the Lifetime Television Network. This time, this one very special time, romance has been divinely orchestrated.

This time love is perfectly, deliciously real.

  

If you had to give up one of your favorite foods, which one would it be?

Double cheese burgers from Mickey D's value menu. They're cheap and tasty but they lard up my hips.

Write your first post

Tell us a little about yourself. How’s your day going? What brought you here? What’s something you’re really excited about? If you need a little inspiration, answer the Question of the Day. Or introduce yourself to the Vox community. Click on compose to write your first post.

Display your favorite music, movies and books

Show us what you’re enjoying. You can add your favorite music, movies and books to your Vox with just a few clicks. Under the My Vox menu, click on Organize to start adding media.

Find inspiration by exploring

See what other Voxers are blogging about by visiting the Explore page. Join the conversation by commenting, leaving a [this is good] or adding people to your Neighborhood.

Only you can see this post. You may delete it at any time.